I want to move to Hawaii! (response to email)

Since I started this blog, I've had guys write me saying they want to move to Hawaii to enjoy the "scenery".  And while I think it's cute to want to visit or come to Hawaii to possibly meet an Asian girl, there are a few things you need to understand before you book that flight.   (And be aware that these are my opinions and my experiences.  I'm not saying everyone feels this way)


1.  Hawaii is diverse, but still very racist
I have lived in Hawaii all my life and pretty much every race/ethnic background is here.  Because of that, there are many cultural experiences to be had.  But that doesn't mean everyone gets along.  The "locals" tend to hate the "mainlanders" and "tourists".  If you're in the military, expect to be hated by everyone.  Again, not everyone feels this way.  I certainly don't.  You need to come here with the attitude that you may be called bad names or have fights started with you.

2. Hawaii has a lot of Asian girls, but they like Asian guys
I know this might be hard to believe because of what I write.  But I am the exception, not the rule, here in Hawaii.  Asian girls here like Asian guys.  They are not interested in other races, not even as friends.  I used to try to get my Asian friends from high school to go out with my white male friends and my Asian friends all refused.  They wouldn't even agree to go to dinner or a see a movie.  In fact, my friends said they didn't even want to be seen in public with a white guy.  I know it sounds ignorant, but that's how a lot of people feel here.

3. The Asian girls in Hawaii are broken up into 2 groups - local girls and girls who are from Asia
If you don't care what kind of Asian girl you be friends with/meet/date/marry, then good.  You can skip this paragraph.  Otherwise, there is a difference.  Local girls grew up here in Hawaii and most likely her parents and grandparents too!  Most of us only speak English (we don't speak the native language of our ethnicity).  Most of us also have never been to our native homeland.  We are very much American-ized, though we probably like Hello Kitty!  lol.   The girls who are from Asia, may speak English (though not very well) or not at all.  They are often going to college here in Hawaii. There is a very derogatory term that Hawaii people use to describe people from Asia, but I am choosing not to use it.  

4. If you do befriend/date/marry an Asian girl, be prepared to have to prove yourself to her friends and family
It doesn't matter how nice of a guy you are, how well you treat her, or how happy you make her.  If you're white, her friends and family will judge you and think the worst of you.  My Asian male friends used to feel betrayed that I'd date someone who wasn't Asian. You need to go into the situation knowing you will be judged and hopefully your girl will be right by your side to show everyone how much you mean to her.


5. Your friends will question your decision/choices too
It won't just be her friends and family who will judge your relationship.  Some of your friends will assume that the Asian girl is a gold digger.  There's a stigma that Asian girls go out with white guys because they have lots of money.  Maybe that's true in some places, but in most cases, I made more than my military boyfriends.

And a common question that boyfriends of mine got asked was "Is she with you to get a green card?" I'm an American citizen so no, I don't need a green card.  But your friends will assume your Asian girl is from Asia.  When I'd meet my boyfriends' family or friends, a lot of them didn't even think I'd speak English. People say these things because they are ignorant and don't know the situation.  The important thing is to be patient and take the time to explain things to people.

This post is not in any way meant to discourage you from wanting to come to Hawaii or meeting an Asian girl.  I am just pointing out the realities and letting you know what to expect.  I want to stress again that this is just my opinion and my experience from dating and having white friends for the last 10+ years.  I have friends of all races and backgrounds and I like it that way.  There's pro and cons to any place that you go to.  Hawaii is no different.  But it's beauty and abundance of Asian girls makes it worth it!  And hey, if all else fails, I'm here!  I can always find a way to spice up your trip :)