Sunday, June 19, 2011

I want to move to Hawaii! (response to email)

Since I started this blog, I've had guys write me saying they want to move to Hawaii to enjoy the "scenery".  And while I think it's cute to want to visit or come to Hawaii to possibly meet an Asian girl, there are a few things you need to understand before you book that flight.   (And be aware that these are my opinions and my experiences.  I'm not saying everyone feels this way)

1.  Hawaii is diverse, but still very racist
I have lived in Hawaii all my life and pretty much every race/ethnic background is here.  Because of that, there are many cultural experiences to be had.  But that doesn't mean everyone gets along.  The "locals" tend to hate the "mainlanders" and "tourists".  If you're in the military, expect to be hated by everyone.  Again, not everyone feels this way.  I certainly don't.  You need to come here with the attitude that you may be called bad names or have fights started with you.

2. Hawaii has a lot of Asian girls, but they like Asian guys
I know this might be hard to believe because of what I write.  But I am the exception, not the rule, here in Hawaii.  Asian girls here like Asian guys.  They are not interested in other races, not even as friends.  I used to try to get my Asian friends from high school to go out with my white male friends and my Asian friends all refused.  They wouldn't even agree to go to dinner or a see a movie.  In fact, my friends said they didn't even want to be seen in public with a white guy.  I know it sounds ignorant, but that's how a lot of people feel here.

3. The Asian girls in Hawaii are broken up into 2 groups - local girls and girls who are from Asia
If you don't care what kind of Asian girl you be friends with/meet/date/marry, then good.  You can skip this paragraph.  Otherwise, there is a difference.  Local girls grew up here in Hawaii and most likely her parents and grandparents too!  Most of us only speak English (we don't speak the native language of our ethnicity).  Most of us also have never been to our native homeland.  We are very much American-ized, though we probably like Hello Kitty!  lol.   The girls who are from Asia, may speak English (though not very well) or not at all.  They are often going to college here in Hawaii. There is a very derogatory term that Hawaii people use to describe people from Asia, but I am choosing not to use it.  

4. If you do befriend/date/marry an Asian girl, be prepared to have to prove yourself to her friends and family
It doesn't matter how nice of a guy you are, how well you treat her, or how happy you make her.  If you're white, her friends and family will judge you and think the worst of you.  My Asian male friends used to feel betrayed that I'd date someone who wasn't Asian. You need to go into the situation knowing you will be judged and hopefully your girl will be right by your side to show everyone how much you mean to her.

5. Your friends will question your decision/choices too
It won't just be her friends and family who will judge your relationship.  Some of your friends will assume that the Asian girl is a gold digger.  There's a stigma that Asian girls go out with white guys because they have lots of money.  Maybe that's true in some places, but in most cases, I made more than my military boyfriends.

And a common question that boyfriends of mine got asked was "Is she with you to get a green card?" I'm an American citizen so no, I don't need a green card.  But your friends will assume your Asian girl is from Asia.  When I'd meet my boyfriends' family or friends, a lot of them didn't even think I'd speak English. People say these things because they are ignorant and don't know the situation.  The important thing is to be patient and take the time to explain things to people.

This post is not in any way meant to discourage you from wanting to come to Hawaii or meeting an Asian girl.  I am just pointing out the realities and letting you know what to expect.  I want to stress again that this is just my opinion and my experience from dating and having white friends for the last 10+ years.  I have friends of all races and backgrounds and I like it that way.  There's pro and cons to any place that you go to.  Hawaii is no different.  But it's beauty and abundance of Asian girls makes it worth it!  And hey, if all else fails, I'm here!  I can always find a way to spice up your trip :)


  1. That's very interesting stuff. Interesting about the two kinds of Asians there. So I'm thinking maybe it would be easier all around if instead of me coming to Hawaii, how about you come to Los Angeles? ;-)

  2. That sounds like a plan to me! When should I arrive? lol

  3. Im an asian guy from an asian country and im sad to say that i agree with your posts regarding asian girls.

    Even back here in asian countries, the women are seen to be gold diggers. But im quite intrigued by your comment that the asian girls in hawaii tend to prefer dating their own asian guys because from what i see in asia, asian girls LOVE dating and sleeping with white guys as if they're god send angels. Like as long as ur white in colour, u got one up against the local guy.

    Btw whts the derogatory term they use? Im really curious, haha

  4. It's too bad... the racism thing

  5. Anonymous - Thank you for sharing your insight on my post. I haven't been to Asia, so I didn't realize girls there loved white guys! As for the term, email me and I will tell you. I don't want to post it on my blog.

    Buddha - The racism thing does suck. I wish I knew how to fix it. :(

  6. Myli,

    Racism is a result of ignorance - simple as that. Sadly, it's everywhere, in different forms.

    I'm glad you and I are not stupid.


  7. Hahaha it is more prevalent esp amongst the slightly more educated ladies. I love white girls, sorta a mirror of u. However reciprocity isn't really the case here.

    The racism u mentioned of sorta reminds me of how
    Some asians discriminate against the so called migrant workers coming in as well to other countries.

    Racism is evident everywhere, no way we can stamp it out or eradicate it, as long as its not malicious or seditioud, it should be fine.

    Btw please continue blOggin abt ur adventures, they are hot!! Too bad can't find open girls like this back home where im from.

  8. Amy - You're right, racism is everywhere. I've experienced it, but I've also had a hand in educated people, so that's satisfying too!

    Anonymous - Are you the same anon from before? Thank you for your comment! I will be sure to continue my blogging. That won't change anytime soon. I have more sexual encounters coming up!

  9. Hey AG,

    I have been to your beautiful state multiple times and I definitely get the sense of the racial tension, whether in the tourist traps of Waikiki or Maui or more in the "every day" parts of the state.

    A gorgeous place, to be sure, but with many of the problems that other places struggle with.

    That being said, keep your hot stories coming. :)



  10. Thank you, SM! The racial tension stuff sucks. I guess I just need to keep doing my best to unite the races :)

  11. After reading this blog, I finally stumbled on this tid bit here. Several notes I've taken on your entry on this one. Me<--An Asian-American who is so mixed, I am sure my ancestors were just as horny as you Myli but was too courteous to by pass condom usage.

    As an ex-pat in Beijing, I must admit white guys do have an edge up on meeting the restless native. let me get into this in detail.

    1. If you are a white guy or any foreigner of sort, your basically viewed as a play toy, but most of the time you aren't intended for marriage. so you may win the battle but you wont win the war type of mentality. (there are some slight mods to this though depending on your ethnic background)

    2. if you are a foreigner who is about to marry a Chinese girl in Beijing several things come into play A) she is either marrying you for the green card B) she is a gold digger C) you couldn't get laid back in your homeland

    2.1 Continuation<--Whatever outcome from up above you the outsider will be interrogated and looked at with suspicion for being with a Chinese girl, trust me to this day I still am not considered an equal to my fiancee's family and still not considered an equal to some of her friends. So I feel you Myli, figuratively speaking literally I wouldn't detest the idea too!

    For the white guys out there and any other skin color not Asian, that don't understand why let me use a female friend of mine (search li bing bing they both look similar) who ended up marrying some Canuck. She comes from a city in China who produces tall slender women, 3 of the top 10 models in china come from this city in China, and a buch more from this province. My female friend is not only tall 5 ft 10 inches, she is atypically built on her hometown frame of no more than 115 lbs. 2nd she graduated from the best uni in China. Short story according to customs girls like her marry up according to chinese/Asian customs to a guy who is rich, well connected, powerful family (most of the time being a Chinese guy) but she ended up marrying the Canuck; she's pretty much considered damaged goods to her familia and her friends.

    To the Asian guy commentator, ex pats in my neck of the woods are considered as a fun toy to play with, so I can see wy most asian girls date asian guys.

    Myli keep up the posting

  12. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. You really should consider having your own blog because you're definitely a better writer than I am. I enjoyed your insight too!


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