Thursday, July 14, 2011

Birth Control Conversations

I am often asked if I am on birth control or if I use condoms with my friends with benefits.  My answer to both is YES!  I have sex with multiple partners and I have no desire to have children with any of these guys.  The birth control that I am on is called Depo-Provera.  I call it the "depo shot".  It's a shot I get in my arm, every 3 months.  It works basically like the pill, without having to take a pill everyday.  My gynecologist put me on Depo when I was 19 because she said that it was 99% effective and girls my age often forget to take the pill.  I won't bore you with all the details.  If you want to read more about the Depo-Provera shot, you can read about it here.

Even though I am on birth control, I make my fwb wear a condom.  This decision is often considered unnecessary by many.  People often ask me why I insist on that.  My simple answer is that I don't want to get pregnant and I don't want to get any STDs.  Do you have friends who tell you they were on birth control and got pregnant anyway?  Yeah, me too.  That's why even though Depo is 99% effective, that 1% chance of getting pregnant is still in my head.  And I do trust my fwb, but I am not always the only girl they are sleeping with, so I don't want to take the chance that they will catch something and pass it to me.

I have had guys tell me that they "refuse" to use condoms.  My response to that is "just friends".  Condoms are non negotiable.  I respect a guy's preference to not wear condoms, but if he wants to sleep with me, he has to wear one.

I've heard the argument that condoms make things less spontaneous.  I have never felt that way about my sex life and I doubt you would hear any complaints from my fwb.  It takes 5 seconds to rip open a condom wrapper and roll it on.  Those few seconds are quickly forgotten and are never a damper to the fucking and cumming that follows. 

Another question I get is about how I handle the condom situation.  For the most part, I keep condoms at my house and my guys keep them at theirs.  It's all about communication.  When the plans are made for the hook up, if it's at my house, I will tell my guy that I have condoms.  If we are hooking up at his place, I will make sure to ask if he has any condoms.  It's better to ask than assume.  And my personal preference is for Trojan condoms. 

I hope this has answered the questions I've gotten about birth control.  I want to reiterate that this is my personal preference.  I'm in no way saying that you should do what I do or use what I use.   Do your own research and find what works best for you.  You may also want to talk to your doctor/gynecologist to see what advice they can give you.  Be safe out there, everyone!


  1. Anyone who allows the guy go ride bareback is taking too many chances with their own health, and any guy who trusts the woman to be on BC is making an 18-year child support bet.

    I like your approach of honest and open communication and no shame over asking the questions. There are rules and there are rewards, follow the first on and you'll get the second one.

    Good for you!

  2. You're obviously a very smart girl, and this post has lots of smart advice in it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on a topic that people often avoid talking about--at their own peril.

  3. Dudes who refuse to use condoms are douche bags who should be stabbed in the balls. Unlike you, I don't respect their choice.

  4. Advizor, your wisdom is always right on point. I do believe in communication and I'm not afraid to have conversations about safe sex and what I expect from the guy. And I agree with what you said. You follow the rules and the rewards will follow :)

  5. Holly - Thank you for your kind words. When I was younger, I was embarrassed to talk about safe sex. Then my roommate at the time got pregnant and she was using the depo shot too. It was an eye opener. Since then, I've initiated the safe sex topic with any guy I have sex with. It gives me piece of mind!

    Maxwell - Would you help me and stab guys in the balls for me? Please? Ok, I don't want you to do that. I actually met a cute guy about 2 weeks ago and he told me he doesn't use condoms. Instant turn off.


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