Friday, July 22, 2011

Who Cares About the Ring?

Last week, I met up with a male friend for dinner at a restaurant/bar near my house.  It's a very interesting dynamic there.  It's half families and couples and half military guys.  My friend had actually already had dinner, so he just had some drinks, while I had a burger.  We were talking about what was new in our lives.  He's been a good friend for years and even though we live about 15 minutes away from each other, our schedules make it hard to get together.  I was very happy that we were finally am to hang out and catch up.

At one point, my friend told me he wanted to go to the bathroom then go outside and smoke a cigarette.  I sat at our table and pulled out my cell phone to return some text messages.  I heard someone near my table and looked up expecting to see my friend.  Instead, it was a random guy.  He sat down and started talking to me.  I'll admit it, he was cute.  Definitely a military guy.  Blonde hair and blue eyes.  He had a really cute smile too.  I told him that I was with a friend and that he couldn't sit there.  He smiled and grabbed my hand.  He pulled the phone from my hand and put his number in it.

I was intrigued.  I like an aggressive guy.  I have no idea what he saw in me.  I had come straight from work so I didn't look my best.  But he was insistent that I text him sometime so we could get to know each other better.  It was at that moment that I looked down at his hands and realized that he had a wedding band on his left hand.  "What is that?" I said to him, while pointing to the ring.  "Oh that," he said, "I'm sorta married, but it's not a big deal."  I looked at him with a surprised look on my face.  I'm sure my jaw dropped too.  "So you have an open marriage?" I asked him.  "Technically, no," he answered.  He then proceeded to explain to me that his wife knew he was meeting and dating other girls.  I almost couldn't speak as he told me this.  And then he said something about how it's his wife's fault because she's white and she knew he always liked asian girls.  I didn't know if he was saying that to make me feel "special", but I was disgusted and appalled.

At this point, I told him he had to go.  He kept trying to sweet talk me into giving him a chance.  I told him no.  Anyone who knows me, knows  that I hate drama.  And this situation sounded like drama all around.  Just then I looked up and saw my friend coming back.  The guy stood up and reminded me that his number was in my phone. He tried to give me a kiss on my cheek and I moved away from him.  He laughed it off and I saw him walk back to the bar, where his friends were laughing at him.

"Who was that?" my friend asked me.  "Some weirdo, with a wedding ring on," I told him.  "Myli, you attract the winners!" he said and we both laughed.

The funny thing is that when I told some of my other friends this story, they told me I should have given the guy a chance!  What???  My one friend told me that I should have thanked him for his honesty!  Seriously?  Guys should get props for being honest about cheating?  My general rule is that I don't mess with married guys.  There are way too many hot, single white boys out there for me to have fun with.  I don't need a married one with a wife that could possibly go psycho on me.  And yes, I did delete that guy's number out of my phone!


  1. Good for you! Me, Jules, and Gwyn always debate about this issue.


  2. Speaking as a married white guy, Myli, I'm crushed, just crushed. Of course, I'm also 5,000 miles away, but crushed nonetheless.

  3. Issues regarding drama and good taste on your part aside, the dude is a fucking moron who should be removed from the potential gene pool. TAKE OFF THE RING BEFORE HITTING ON GIRLS. It takes two seconds and makes you seem infinitely less like a shitbag weasel. If you want to cheat on your wife, fine. Just take off the ring.

  4. Miranda - Thank you! It's just my personal preference. I know people have other opinions.

    Liam - Why are you crushed? :(

    Maxwell - I don't think taking your ring off and cheating is ok too. And in retrospect, I guess I do commend him for being honest when I asked him if he was married. But it didn't make me want to give him a chance.

  5. Hey AG,

    Yes, personal preference does matter. At least, in the A.M. world, the assumption is already in place that married people are there.

    For my many "first meetings" (public places), the woman has worn her ring about half the time.

    However, when it comes time to "get down", not a ring in sight.

    I actually set my cell phone alarm for an hour after the anticipated departure time to remind myself to set my alarm.

    My first mistress (a single woman) actually called me two hours after a hot encounter.

    "Hey, love, make sure to put your wedding band back on and did you put all of your wedding pictures back in place?"

  6. That makes a lot of sense. And it's always good to have a reminder! lol


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